New - HELP! Tried the 180/Last Resort & Failed

[25yearsmlc]

you did great. Nothing to feel bad about although....


he IS being a jerk and he owed you some discussion long before now if this is the first time you've heard these things



you can validate without agreeing IF they revise too much and they do...b/c they have to justify their choices...



how to validate without agreeing? You can say "I don't recall it that way but I'm sorry you were hurt" and if there

is truth to what he says, or some, then say "If I had it to do over, I'd do lots of things differently"...



He cannot argue with either statement and yet you are showing you are different...and therefore, the R could be....




The OW sounds flaky as hell. I would not be surprised if men had purchased her two cars (who owns two cars??)



does he even know what her job is?



Never mind, forget OW...he's in a crisis and felt burdened financially.



now we know. Get a job and GAL and know you will be fine.



See the thing is, the LBSer actually does do better than the WAS over time.



I mean, he will always wonder if he made the right choice (he already is)

and whether he was shitty about it, which he was and don't defend him or let him off the hook when he yanks the rug out from under you AND changes the terms...


and he will look over his shoulder wondering about you...every time OW does something nasty you would not do,
or doesn't get his jokes (common with east Europeans)


he will wonder about you


Whereas the LBSer has to make the best of it b/c they had NO choice...and they GAL and learn to live well, and they are "awake"....like never before...



You won't look over your shoulder



he always will



Remember to be upbeat if you can be. Not so much about letting him off the hook



but being "attractive/attracting" to him. I think you were b/c you were his friend and he's very weird right now. SO MLC...



I suspect he asked ONE weird guy, and in a weird biased way, if OW's behavior is "normal"


why ask that if you are so sure about OW....??


I agree with the moderator, OW will blow over in at most, a year. My guess is months...



please read the Laura munson article "Those Arent' Fighting Words" and see what you think.

take care of yourself and keep at it. Be the author of your life and make this next chapter a GOOD ONE!