my heart is breaking

[AloneAt35]

Kermit,

I am so profoundly sorry for what you are going through. I am going through it myself and your words exactly echo the pain in my heart.

NO, you are not too sensitive - your sensitivity is a treasure. YES, your husband is as cold as ice right now. My world is also full of treasured memories that are only painful to me right now. It makes one want to escape the world just to escape the reminders and pain of the profound loss of the person we knew and loved.

Yes, our spouse/partner has decided to 'get rid of us.' No, we can't ever imagine doing such a thing to someone who shared their life with us. Such an action is antithetical to everything we believed was true about the world. And the coldness is the most terrifying part (I just experienced that myself today).

Why are we "cast aside like a piece of trash" as you so aptly put it? I've done so much thinking on this and the only thing I can conclude (and it is an extremely painful conclusion) is that for whatever reason (OW, MLC, long-simmering resentments, new focus in life) our love is simply no longer needed or valued at the moment - so neither are we.

Does this mean we aren't valuable people? Of course not and I can only imagine you know that too - though I am constantly tossed up on the shores of self-loathing by the cruelty of the situation and struggle to keep perspective every instant of every moment of every second of every minute of every day.

Does this mean that our love and lives WILL NEVER be appreciated by them - maybe. But there are stories of people here who became loved again - sometimes by their spouses/partners and sometimes by others, but always by THEMSELVES - they learned to appreciate and value themselves enough to survive, and maybe we can learn this too.

Tonight is one of the most painful nights I have experienced in my whole life but we can reach out and support each other. Even a stranger values you - you are not alone and you are understood.