....I've been thinking of getting SSM for us to read. I know that really she needs to see someone for this, and I tried bringing it up and she refuses. ....
My wife was never physically abused but growing up she was verbally/emotionally abused by her mother for a time (long story I will not go into).
Counseling really helped my wife, especially when it was pointed out that some of her abusive behavior was like that she suffered and since she knew how badly it hurt her, how could my wife impose that kind of pain on someone she loved, i.e. her husband. My wife had both an individual sex therapist she saw and together we saw a different (even better) sex therapist, who really helped my wife learn to realize that I deserved her love, that I wasn't anyone who have tried to hurt her and that she was inflicting the same kind of pain she had received earlier in life.
Good luck to you. I hope that things go well.
>43 years of marriage--My wife and I are now closer than we have been in decades. I believe that my SSM is over.
