New - HELP! Tried the 180/Last Resort & Failed

[AloneAt35]

One more thought about my prior long post: I think ex-partner wishes that we could just hate each other to make it easier on him.

But I can't and won't hate him, and try as he might, every time he talks to me he is reminded that he can't hate me either (and actually probably still cares about me) and that makes what he is doing so much harder for him.

The merciful thing would be if God would allow us to hate each other. However, we had so many good years and so much love and joy with each other that I think its impossible - I just can't get there (to hating him)...and he seems to be trying to get there with the help of OW but failing. He had told me so many times that the way our relationship ended is "hard on OW," but I actually think its harder on him.