(1) I guess if there was 1 event, it was time when I went out of my way to schedule a baby sitter and dinner out. I busted my rump (multiple reservations, 2 hours’ drive w/kids to in-laws) to have her cancel because she was too tired. Then found out she'd been hanging out with a girlfriend all afternoon. Plenty of time for her friend; none for me. That type of thing was frequent and eventually eye opening.
(2) I called her on spending time with me and she just refused. I repeatedly asked for a resumption of weekly date nights and there was always a reason not to.
(3) They most she would say was she was "trying", but I can't for the life of me tell you any actions on her part that would constitute trying.
(4) I KNOW that I changed (for the better). She did too, just got grumpier and less fun.
(5) No, my feelings for her are the same, but they are targeted as a memory of the "real" her. This person she is now is not that her. Even now, I get myself in trouble when I remember that old her and not who she is now. I long for the old her; I can't stand this new one. I have to get through my head that that is who she is now and the old one is gone forever.
Thanks man.
I see some similarities between your W and my W and some difference.
1. I would like my W to have lunch with me once in a while - and she has done that, But I do know that she has lunches with co-workers weekly and they are usually extended lunches. I understand the feeling less important.
2. My W does spend time if I request. We watched a movie together on Sunday. But she refuses to schedule at 'date night" because she said she hates the idea of scheduling something.
3. I get the "I'm trying too. " But I do know we both got a little lazy with trying when things improved. She has made some efforts that I can look at though. She did agree to MC and agreed to go back to MC.
4. We still are pretty good friends actually. She can be fun and funny.
I dunno, I was having a bad day and your post kinda hit me. I'm outa the funk now.
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. --Jean Jacques Rousseau.
