I went by to pick up the kids from her apartment, which I dont know if I ever posted that she leased for 6 months. IT will not end until November. I also need to say that she is leaving on the 10th of July for 5 weeks for training for her job. SHe will not be able to come home on the weekends. I dont know how she will react to that, or how I will. Maybe the time apart will help us both. Today has been a tough day and still is, me and the kids are about to leave for my s12 baseball game about 30 miles from here. She will not be there as she is working the late shift for her job as she always does on Thursdays. I will have to learn to take the good days with the bad and realize it is all part of my recovery. The kids are doing much better and seemed to have a good time with her last night.
Normally when I pick them up, or she drops them off she makes sure to come down with them or walk them to my door. She hasnt the last couple of times and it makes me feel that she is truly moving on. I also think she just may be playing the game in order to get me to come to her. I know it would be easier for her if I was to come to her and beg again. But that would only let her know that I am still waiting for her. The weekend is coming and I guess she will be back in the bar rooms. This will get easier as she has not much ammunition left to throw at me.
Again if we are worth it to her, then she has to be the one to make the first move. I hope I am right about that.
Its funny, this is not much different than ten years ago, she left and starting partying, married another man, and then realized that she made a mistatke and came home. I need to be patient, it kills me to be. But I will continue to Dbing and stay dark.
