XYZ is here, but I won't be staying...

[XYZ]

Hey H -

(1) I guess if there was 1 event, it was time when I went out of my way to schedule a baby sitter and dinner out. I busted my rump (multiple reservations, 2 hours’ drive w/kids to in-laws) to have her cancel because she was too tired. Then found out she'd been hanging out with a girlfriend all afternoon. Plenty of time for her friend; none for me. That type of thing was frequent and eventually eye opening.

(2) I called her on spending time with me and she just refused. I repeatedly asked for a resumption of weekly date nights and there was always a reason not to.

(3) They most she would say was she was "trying", but I can't for the life of me tell you any actions on her part that would constitute trying.

(4) I KNOW that I changed (for the better). She did too, just got grumpier and less fun.

(5) No, my feelings for her are the same, but they are targeted as a memory of the "real" her. This person she is now is not that her. Even now, I get myself in trouble when I remember that old her and not who she is now. I long for the old her; I can't stand this new one. I have to get through my head that that is who she is now and the old one is gone forever.