Legit DBing? or is this just calm before storm?

[MommaDucki]

Have several threads over boards, spend loads of time reading so many of y'all's sitches, and I feel or have felt like so many of you out there. Right now, I feel so utterly lost for words, I'm not sure where to begin....

So, H and I seperated 2 1/2 years ago...At first, like so many, I was angry, hurt, in pain, etc...GAL, to an extent just went about my life as if a single parent, and 3 weeks ago, moved back into my H's life. D3 and I had moved 1300 miles away when S happened, and after really getting ahold of my life again, and tons of mental clarity, so much anger, pain, and hate released, and forgiveness achieved on some levels, I moved back down to where H lived. Was with the intent of getting here and having the money to go right into our own place and H stay at his place till we better know what's going on with us, etc. Due to car trouble on the way down, most of my new place money was spent to finish our trip/move, so H offered to have us stay with him for the time being.

Confusion begins. Though I've never wanted D, H has been back and forth on D since we S. I don't feel us living in the same place is healthy just yet, as I feel we'd be prone to falling back into old habits. Has been hard, but so far, I'm staying true to the person I reclaimed/became in the time we've been apart. H has changed too....

The reality for me is this...H said when we got here he wants D...much talking from him and much listening from me (which is a 180 for me that i've done with H and every other important person in my life as I had tendancies to interrupt and not really hear a person out), and what I heard was that he's talking to OW, but doesn't really see it going anywhere, but knows that I can still get him angry which is why he's not sure it's good for us to be together. Says it could mean that since I can cause him to have such a real true emotion like that shows that we're either not good for one another or that there are real legit underlying connections between us and he doesn't want to really think about it at all.

Like I said, I've other threads that have touched on this stuff, so sorry if I'm repeating, but I haven't really been reacting to H's R with OW. Have known he's talking to her on phone and just don't react. In the past, H had a few EAs before our S...I became obsessed, controlling, smothered him, came across as needy and desperate. I learned all this about myself while S. So now, here I am, not reacting to him talking to OW, and he's different as well...Before S, he was "secretive" always had to have phone by his side, wouldn't let me near him while he was on pc, just secretive and ingored me....

Now? H is forever asking me to hang out with him, has movies he wants me to watch with him, doesn't care where he sets his phone down, has even let me use his phone when the battery in mine died and I needed to make a phone call (he didn't even sit nearby and "monitor" what i did on is phone). he wasn't in a really great frame of mind when we moved in here to just give up his freedom and such, but I've reaasured him that's never been my intent. By his freedom, I meant is ability to be on whatever schedule he wants to be on, volume levels of the TV, etc....has been a HUGE adjustment to him due to D3...but I knew he'd be fine...he wasn't sure, but told me a few days ago that he's thankful for my faith in him in regards to D3. He's been hesitant at first to watch her while I'm working, but he's gotten more comfortable now and was actually a little upset when I took her to a sitter's house the other day because I just wanted her to have a few other kids to play with for the day. He was bothered that she was gone, I was gone, and he was awake and alone all day...lol

Yesterday, he asked me to go to the movies with him next week...


Overall, what I'm getting at is I'm not sure what's really going on here. As far as just myself is concerned (and D3 of course), I go to work and make sure she has care while I'm working, I cook meals...if H chooses to sit and eat with us, it's left up to him. I am a caretaker by nature no matter who you are, so if I'm going to grab a drink and see he doesn't have one, I'll bring him one, but I don't just go out of my way to wait on him hand and foot. I take care of myself, D3, and go about my life as close to how I did before we moved back down here.

For H saying he'd like us to be friends, I'm not sure if his actions as of late are a good thing, a neutral thing, or leading up to something else...

I'm definitely finding it hard to not read too much into it, and also to not jump to conclusions he wants to try at R with me, because I don't want to set him off if I started coming across as pursuing him. Just trying to "enjoy the ride" I guess and see what happens?

Anyone have any thoughts on this?