Sparks Happy birthday. What she did was nice, don't read too much into it. You didn't have something for her. Guess you are going dark already too. I would recommend a gradual going dark. I know since the separation you have stepped it up and taken steps to fix yourself. Keep being a good man, but let her know that her grip on you is slipping. She'll be furious, expect to hear about it in counseling. Then tell her you have emotional needs that have gone unfulfilled, and that you don't want to stay with someone that will treat you as a stranger. She will rage, and probably make a scene, and threaten you with D. At this point just remember, this is not what I want but I don't want to live sad anymore. I know neither of us is happy, so I'll understand if you decide to leave.
I know separations can last forever but she is not challenging herself to either leave you or stay with you. She's unhappy but her excuses tell me that she is too scared of the unknown. So instead she's got you and her in this holding pattern of misery, because she's too scared to take a chance without you, and too angry and stubborn to come back. Avoidance at it's finest.
