Do NOT respond 9. Regardless of the meaning of that text, you cannot fix her problems or issues. She has to get through this on her own.
BITS Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
Thanks guys. JB, I dont think it was sarcastic but I dont want to get drawn back into the BS only for her to pull back again. I have detached a little and need that to keep going.
OTOH, if she is suffering from depression, I would feel guilty the rest of my life if she harmed herself. Remember, when I found out about her A, She "attempted suicide" which I think was just for show but these are awfully high stakes to be guessing at.
ITs just like her to throw a potential wrench into the sitch when I am starting to feel good about my life a little. Like I have picked up some pieces and could see myself moving on.
I will NOT RESPOND! Thats the correct decsion right!!???
9
BITS M-46 W-42 M-16y T-19 y s10 s15 BombDec.19/09 Sep-F16/10 Sep Papers signed by W- June 30/10 Recon July 5/10 PA foundOut- Oct 30/10 Mental HospNov/10 moved out Nov/10 Leg Sep Mar 15/11
Do you have a mutual friend who could check in on her? You wouldn't need to give full details, and you could even ask that if everything is ok, you don't need to be told. This keeps you in the dark and detached unless absolutely necessary.
Me 43 W 38 M 5 T 7 SD20 S15, S13 with 1st W ILYBNILWY June 2010 Separation/Bomb July 2010 Divorce Feb 8, 2011
Do you have a mutual friend who could check in on her? You wouldn't need to give full details, and you could even ask that if everything is ok, you don't need to be told. This keeps you in the dark and detached unless absolutely necessary.
I think this is a good idea. This allows you to stick to your game plan, but still make sure she's all right.
OTOH, if she is suffering from depression, I would feel guilty the rest of my life if she harmed herself. Remember, when I found out about her A, She "attempted suicide" which I think was just for show but these are awfully high stakes to be guessing at.
Definitely a concern 9. BUT, you canNOT keep getting sucked in my this behavior. Find someone else to check in on her. AND SHE NEEDS to find someone else to be there for her ... now.
I agree... this is a test... to see if she can draw you back into her soap opera.
Remember - YOU are the villain in that soap opera... stay OFF of the stage man.
BITS Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
Nine - If this was me and my STBX, I would absoultely want to react. That alone should tell you it's the wrong thing! Seriously. No one has failed more tests than this guy. Think of it this way - it is no longer your job to do this. You can be caring and quietly suggest to someone else to check in - while giving as little detail as possible to respect her privacy - but nothing more.
I dont know what the hell is going on but I am feeling GREAT. I mean really good. I have been feeling that way all day.
In the grocery store, joking with people. When they ask me how Im doing I can look them in the eye and say. Im doing OK, really.
Got home from Rugby practice. Cooked dinner, cleaned up house, mowed the lawn, got battery out of boat. Havent had it in the water for two years. TIme to put it in this summer.
Played drums for about 20 minutes and I am feeling it.
TBH, I am wondering a little what the hell that message was from her this morning but not dwelling on it.
Her message read to be exact: Here comes the downward spiral.
Her problem, not mine.
Wow, i hope this feeling sticks around for awhile because I forgot what it feels like.
Thanks to all that have been here with me throughout the Sh!t.
Those of you that are new, and full of despair and thinking that your life is over. ITS NOT. It is just different.
And you wont believe me cause I didnt believe the others that went through it. I would think, " Yeah you had some pain , but I REALLY loved my wife and you cant possibly feeling exactly the amount of pain that I am and I will NEVER get over it.
Well guess what, YOU do. But you have to go through the Pain and experience yourself. And you will make mistakes. Wasnt I the KING Sandi and 25, Starsky and others really let me have it.
BUt IT IS NECESSARY.
IM not totally HEALED yet but I can say with absolute certainty, I KNOW I WILL make it one way or another. Either with her or without her.
9
BITS M-46 W-42 M-16y T-19 y s10 s15 BombDec.19/09 Sep-F16/10 Sep Papers signed by W- June 30/10 Recon July 5/10 PA foundOut- Oct 30/10 Mental HospNov/10 moved out Nov/10 Leg Sep Mar 15/11
