Since you hold her responsible for zero problems in the m, and that means you lost your temper irrationally for no reason, along with "NEVER" helping her out "unless forced" and a lot of other "all or nothing" comments, I would guess it's a memory. And a bit of a distorted one too...
but kudos for a brave look at your behavior.
Just mo.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016