In short I don’t want to give her anymore ammunition to load her “blame me” gun. I know I will get blamed no matter what, however I really desire my words, deeds and actions to be pure.
MHL,
This struck me.
I think this affects you more than you would care to admit.
...knowing you will get blammed...
When I forgave myself, when we were seprated, when ponies fell out of the sky...you get my point...AFTER I was truly at the point of 'loving' my wife but : ) Not being in love with her.
I simply didn't care about her 'blame gun'; not only was I teflon coated; I was immune. I forgave myself, her button pushing went to wires I had pulled out.
As for your situation... I can only offer hindsight and a little advice.
Quote:
I’m the mother…….
Me: Then start acting like it. Not just texting and calling when its convientient to you and your schedule.
Quote:
But if you want to do everything to help us reconcile, you sure are not showing it by giving GF my ticket.
This is probably the meanest thing you have ever done. I would give anything just to be able to see her, even without her knowing. And one day if we do reconcile, I can say that I was there.
Me: 2 things.
1 - Stop threatening me about how I am screwing up this desire to reconcile. YOU start proving you want it and I'll act accordingly. But right now, I'm done with the heavy lifting I HAVE shown my desire, just as you have shown your desire NOT to. Time for you to put up or shut up.
2 - Not intended to be mean. I am in the middle between you and daughter. She wanted (GF's name) to go, it is her day. What does that tell you? I figured that if you didn't know it wouldn't be a big deal. Well you found out and now your upset, sound familiar? It was a lie of ommission.
Well MHL, those are my words, you can tell how I feel from them. My advice, stems from two things. When the WAW blames the lack of reconcillation on the LBS for their actions...it is BS. And when the WAW crys boo-hoo-hoo for being cast as the bad parent...when that ARE the bad aprent.
I see little reason to coddle them on the parent part. I see little reason to validate them when they hold failed or failing reconcillation over the LBS head as some sort of threat.
Too hard line for you?
Perhaps.
Likely.
Either way, enjoy the day with your family MHL.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
