The weekends are tough for me, as I think about her a lot and miss her a bunch. I miss spending time with the family on the weekdends. I also think about her being out in the bar rooms and someone taking advantage of her. As I know when she gets really drunk she never remembers what happened the night before. I dont want anything bad to happen to her, and I know that God is doing what he needs to do in order to get her where she needs to be. I have to continue with my patience. When I picked up the kids from her on Tuesday night I was on the phone witha friend and she saw me on the phone. Silly things pop into my head, thinking if she thinks I am involved with someone else, then she wont fight to come back home. But it may also put it in her mind that she is taking a chance of losing me forever. I have never been very good at playing the game, but I hope at this point that I am winning it. I think in order to get her back or to move on with my life I will have to continue to as "as if" and detach. It is the only way for me to get through this.
I do want her back, but I dont know if what I have been doing over the past three weeks will make this a succesful journey. I guess I will continue to let god have it and pray for the future.
This Saturday makes three weeks since she moved out. I will have to give it more time. Patience!!!!
She will need to fall completly in order to realize what she lost.
