It seems that the OM has moved away from her, kind of make sense to the way she has been acting, with the crying and screaming and blame game. The past few days she has stopped doing it and seems she is trying to go dark on me. I have been told by some of her friends that she has been out in the bar rooms during the weekend, and sloppy drunk. I have been sticking to my guns and staying detached and dark at this point. I do second guess at times if I should have made her move out two weeks before she wanted to. But like I said before, she already had the apartment and had already moved stuff into it. I will have to stop with the Facebook thing though as that sets me back. I noticed last night that she had made friends with a guy that no doubt she met in the bar room. I know she will never find anyone to replace me, in those type of places. I think since the OM didnt work out, she is trying to find someone new, to keep her busy. She told me that she was not leaving me for OM, but I think she is at a point where she is trying to convince herself of that. To come back to me after only being gone for almost three weeks would show her weakness. It would also make family and friends question what she is doing.
I guess in my mind I am wondering if the OM thing didnt work for her, why hasnt she called me to work things out with me. That may be a dumb thing to wonder as I know I dont need her back right now. Should I stay detached and dark still, or what? If I go to her now and check her temp, she will only know that I am still holding on. If she knows that I am and our kids are worth fighting for, I would think she would do what it takes to get it back. I know she misses me and the family as she has made comments to her cousin about it.
I wonder with me knowing about OM, if that is keeping her away. Because she is ashamed of what she did. I dont talk about him, nor do I really talk to her much about anything, except for kids. I have stop answering the phone, when she calls and force her to call on of the kids phone. I just wondering if she is hurting and has changed her mind, will she be the one to prove that, and I know I should let her. If we are worth it to her, shouldnt she be the one to make the first move to reconcile our marriage.
I think, like Lori the DB coach said, she needs more time to see what is not out there for her. She without a doubt will get tired of the bar scene. She told her cousin that most nights she has been out, that she doesnt remember driving home. I am concerned for her well being, but I know I cant show that to her. I feel she is waiting for me to come to her and express my feelings and let her know I want her home. But if she comes back now, I dont feel anything would be different. I want her back but only if she does and stays forever. If I truly love my kids like I know I do, how can I take a risk of puttting them through this heartache again.
Is it not her fight now? Do I continue on my path of detachment and darkness and let her come to me. I hate this limbo thing. Is she just trying to fill a void by going out and drinking and trying ot meet a new man. Again, I have showed her how much I love her, she knows with me comes back her family. She knows I have made some changes in my life.
I would love for someone on this site that has some insite to lend a comment.
She did tell her cousin that she is back on her new medication again.
