I'm lost. need help with WAW

[facingdivorce]

Hi GAL Man

I have a similar issue with my WAW. with looking after the kids with last minute notices. She travels for work, but also slides dates in for her to be with the OM. I also used to think is this request for legitimate business reason or for something else. The answer realistically is both.

At first I built this rigorous process to manage travel with notification etc etc. And then I looked at it and threw away the lot. Why did I do that?

- I was being controlling and I dont want to be like that
- It was difficult to monitor and required way to much time, effort and positive energy
- My WAW went into a power struggle with me over it, testing every boundary, hostile emails etc etc

So what did I do?

I take the kids at every and any opportunity I can have to be with them. They are my first , second, third all priority. I am never happier than when I am with them.

It reduced the headbutting powerplay with my WAW, she actually seems a bot more comfortable now with me

The kids know I am always there and there is never takeaway food, just homecooking ( my wife did the same with the takeaway ) Again if I was that concerned about their diet, dont try and change my wifes approach, just make sure you have the kids and cook for them. Esier, happier, healthier.

So my focus is the kids not managing my wife, we are all settling down a lot better for doing it.

thanks