"D-Day" seems to be approaching fast

[toughlover]

fig,

I have loved my wife for my entire marriage. I still do. However, given that she has told me with her words, and backed up with her actions, the following:

1. I don't love you.
2. I don't want to be married to you.
3. I wish I hadn't married you.
4. I intend to divorce you before the end of the year.

What, exactly, do you think I should do? To pursue her would be wrong and only drive her away. She refuses to discuss it. She refuses to go to counseling. And she's been playing this game for the better part of 4 years.

I think the message I'm sending to my children is that I have honored my commitment and been patient with her, and taken every opportunity to work on this relationship that she has been willing to engage in. And I spent the better part of the last 4 years DB'ing my ass off.

Don't get me wrong. I appreciate the feedback and challenges. However, I don't think you guys are looking at the big picture and what has already taken place. I'm not the one who wants the divorce here. And I made that clear to her, and also clearly told her I loved her, wanted to go back to MC, and work at this until we can fly on our own. She flatly refuses. After everything I've done, there's not really any more I can do.

As I said before, she has not demonstrated commitment to this marriage for at least 8 years now (as the adultery itself supposedly began in 2003). Instead of simply telling me I'm "doing it wrong"...what, specifically, do you think I should do at this point...keeping in mind I'm coming off of 4-5 years of doing the DB thing already.