When life hands you lemons add alcohol and stir!

[MichelleLT]

It is fair for him to understand why his actions make you upset. How can he help you get past this if you dont give him the chance? This is an issue for both of you. Quit making this just your problem.

Hell yes!

Uh no it's a problem that he bought and laid at your feet, with his cheating, you didn't pull this "trigger" problem out of thin air.

And yes!!!!!

Obviously you don't want to just go off on him. Yelling or accusing him or going back to those behaviors would be rash and unproductive. But it would be a good thing to say, it triggers very bad memories and emotions for me when you say X because that was an excuse you used when you were having your affair. You need to explain where you are coming from. He can't be sensitive to the issue if he doesn't know what the issue is.

Keep singing your song. We all have to break out of the bad habits somehow!