you are getting great advice from LTP and Jack3, among others. Your replies have a lot of "buts" in them about how you would take their advice, "but" somehow can't or it won't work or whatever....
From where I sit, You are making yourself miserable and not living up to your signature.
If you've "quit", it sure doesn't show.
You glamorize your w's life with OM, way too much and worse, the thing you said you actually believe is the least realistic of all.
Why on earth would any spouse "snicker" about the trust their former spouse felt? Doesn't ring true. If it were really true, and she's that cruel, then good riddance.
I know you are hurting. A lot. And with your kids working there too, you feel like the outsider in your own family. I dont' know what to say about that but have you wondered why the kids work there? Is it some sort of great job? is it the only job they can get? I do realize the economy stinks so I am honestly curious. I suspect my kids would have mixed feelings about all this.
Your "just for me" move to put those cards in the box will do at most two things...1) annoy her b/c she's in an apartment and already said she has the "right" to space at the house and doesn't want more "junk" there...and or
2) IF she notices the cards at all (and doesn't just toss them without even looking) she'll see it as pursuit/manipulation.
She will NOT likely to think it's an accidental placement.
In any case, seems you are making yourself a hostage to your negative thought process and keeping yourself miserable. I have no doubt you'll spend time and energy imagining her response...and you'll probably come up with mostly negative reads on it...
It's more "stinking thinking", so here's my question. Do you see these patterns and just accept them, b/c you feel you have to work through them some more,
or would you like to stop feeling horrible? I'm asking.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
