If (when) I make it through today in darkness, I will have hit the 2 week mark.
Today when I drop S17 off at work, I am going to give him some stuff to give to STBX. I had a bog box of stuff I found while cleaning out the basement and closets, but she told him she doesn't have room in her apartment (she does!) and gave him the speech about the house still being half hers.
Anyway, I put the big box back in the basement, but the small container has some mail, old passport and even a couple of cards I gave her years ago. There is even one from our first anniversary. Yes, I am giving them to take a little shot at her, but I figure if they are packed with other things and I make no comment, it won't look like it. I think this is a good time to give her a small reminder of what our marriage actually was like.
There is another card that I had placed in our room prior to arriving at a resort in Mexico a few years ago. That particular one was our favourite ever. Ironically, when she and OM/Boss went away a few months ago, they (I think) stayed at a resort owned by the same chain. The card says something like "Let's make this week the best one ever. After 20 years it's nice to be excited to see you in a bikini". That's the kind of romantic man I actually was in our marriage - the kind of man who would email the resort in another country just to have a card waiting for his wife on arrival at a 5 star resort! She deserves a little reminder of that.
I would only admit all of that here in my safe place. I am not expecting any reaction from her,so there will be no letdown when there isn't one.
On to day 14 of darkness....
wouldn't this be considered a form of contact if you're really going dark on her?
