What to do when nothing is working

[liz_palmer]

Starsky - I guess my 'hangup' on issuing boundaries and consequences to someone who has already told me he doesn't see any hope for our relationship and he loves me but isn't 'in' love with me seems useless. Why would someone who feels this way give a da*n about what I want? I have already told him that I thought she needed to stop communicating with him while he was home. And yet here it continues so that just proves to me that he doesn't give a da*n about my feelings.

At this point in time I'm more comfortable with him taking the calls in my presence than doing what he used to do which was to get up and leave the room to take her calls. THAT always made me feel like he had something to say to her that he didn't want me to hear. When I pointed out to him how it made me feel he no longer leaves the room to speak with her. This talk took place months ago, not since the deciding conversation on Mothers Day that he announced there was nothing else here to work on.

My other hangup is that I'm not sure HOW to issue boundaries and consquesnce to a grown man. I'm still suffering from the fear that he will pack up and leave. So, of course, I'm not at the issuing demands point. I'm going to think on this for a couple days.

Fortunately for me, my brother will come to stay in the house with my husband while we're all gone to PA. I was already one step ahead of you on that one.

Liz