Affair (continued II)

[ChrisW]

I know 25 being an anxious mess here at work. W is going out of town for a family funeral. I am chalking it up to she is just busy at work and no time to chat. Just fighting the urge to be a complete mess to her.

[25yearsmlc]

before the A, what were you like?

Is this "being a mess" new behavior for you?


How are the kids? Have they noticed you acting mopey?

[ChrisW]

No this a new behavior, in the sense that I have always battled with depression. When the kids are around I try and act like all is good. But when alone I am a mess. To answer your question they havent noticed. My kids are of the age and open enough to say something if they notice it. However it is summer break and they have been out playing alot with there friends.

I was feeling pretty sorry for myself (with it being my birthday and W being out of town) when I got home. So, I took the kids out for a meal. Kind of cheered me up a bit. It was nice

[25yearsmlc]

Happy Birthday Chris...

sorry if it [censored] but next year's can be a better one. You'll be a better man and a happier man, I'm betting.

Take care of yourself and try a lot to be upbeat. It really makes a difference in how you are seen.

Remember, yes you made a mistake, but you still want to be a man only a fool would leave.

[ChrisW]

Thank you 25 for the wise words. I am just struggling yesterday and today more than I thought I would. Very surprised by it, my W seems to be struggling too. It is just very sad.....

Now how to occupy myself so that I dont show every emotion that I have on my face. This is a difficult one...for me at least.

[Jack_Three_Beans]

It is just very sad.....

yes it's very sad.

So very sad.

Up around my way, a 32 year old man, beat a 7 year old girl put her into the ICU because he wanted her bike.

Apples and oranges?

It is just very sad.....

Your wife...baked you a cake for your birthday.

Your upset that she had plans to be gone this week.

Start looking for the silver linings Chris.

They are not hard to spot.

[ChrisW]

Yes Jack I heard about the Little girl on the news. I work in the prison system, so I get to see those people everyday. That is not sad it is horrific. But point taken...

I am not sad that she is gone for the weekend, I am just sad...dont really know why just feel down. Going to figure out a way to lift my spirits (exercise, renew interest in hobbies) to lift my spirits. Plus a good way to keep my brain occupied. I dont want to mindless swallow medications and hope they work, got to be more proactive than that. My buddies invited me out this weekend. I havent seen most of them in years, think I might take them up on it. It is either that or sit at home again pineing away for the W. (that seems fun)

[Harrier]

Chris

I'm curious what you mean by "battled depression."

have you also explored the idea of anti-anxiety meds. Even in a low-dose form, they can really help out if you are a mess.

the thing about anti-Ds is that they is no "hoping" they work. They react to and change your brain chemistry. If one isn't working, try another one.

just a few thoughts.n that the best course for depression is Meds + IC.

They don't necessarily get rid of the downs, - just make them less severe and frequent.

[ChrisW]

Yes I have been on anti-D's for a long time. Unfortunatley I am on prozac because I cant afford cymbalta, (spelling) because my insurance will not cover non generics. So I cant afford the nearly 200.00 a month. The prozac is on 6.00, because it is generic. I am considering talking to my doc and possibly uping my dose, maybe that will help.

[ChrisW]

what the heck is wrong with me? I am so anxious this week...I have been taking my meds to combat it but seems to only get worse as the week goes by.