Hey I think the previous comments make a lot of sense.
I was also cheated on, by my wife, and I saw something above that I just wanted to remark on...the comment that he says he cheated because of his unhappiness in the marriage...and of course he also seems to be saying that he was unhappy because of you...so it sounds to me like he's trying to soften his decision a bit and making you somewhat responsible for it. Cheating spouses often do that. However, while we all have to accept some level of responsibility for the condition of our marriage, he still made a vow, a commitment to you and he broke it. That's not your fault; it was a wrong and poor decision on his part. A lot of us are unhappy in our marriages and have never cheated...even if we wanted to or had opportunities.
So...it's good that you want to take responsibility for any negative behaviors on your part that affected the quality of the marriage, and we all should do that. However, that's enough of a burden to carry and sort out. I hope and pray you won't let him or anyone else blame you for their poor choices.
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. -- Inigo Montoya, 'The Princess Bride'
