Still crazy (piecing) after all these years

[Return10]

Because my time is short I'll get right to an issue: We have several unresolved issues from years ago. Part of "the deal" for recovery from my H's affair was that we would become an "official family". Time after time for 11 years now, he has said that he will do as the attorney and financial advisor suggested and legally adopt my daughter. I have gone for years at a time without saying anything then it will come back up for me, particularly during times of transition. Feels like things get all settled and moving forward but it never happens. This time we had a great session with my therapist and sure seemed like there was a clear plan. There is no doubt that he loves my daughter and grand daughter and the whole notion of fatherhood is super charged for all of us so it is a tough thing. I have issues with my Dad that I wish I could resolve so I’m going to redouble my efforts to do that as I believe real resolution any where affects every where.

The more immediate situation is that I wept a fair amount yesterday. Don’t think my H figured it out and perhaps didn’t notice. I managed to regroup by the end of the day and there were several important steps forward between my D and H and some good developments between me and him also. Unfortunately, it came back to haunt me today. H noticed, asked what was wrong, and I told him. Interestingly, upon telling him, I saw the whole thing differently. I saw that my daughter’s hurt makes it difficult for my very passive H to work up showing her that he is sincere. He’s waiting for her and she’s waiting for him. I told him that also but it was too late. He is now in a deep funk, and having eaten nothing all day said he wasn’t hungry and wanted to sit at the gate the 2 1/2 hrs before our flight home. So here I am writing, trying to get a grip, and head back to the gate.