Good Morning. Wow the sun did come up this morning without my help! See.......born caretaker here....I have a big tendency to take care of everyone in my life except ME. Went into nursing as a career ( care taker ) Have been trying to save my brother's, my husband, Didnt save my Dad.etc.
I know the pattern... been living it for years.
I will get my DR book back or better yet order another one, and look into the addictive spouse chapters. I know its not gonna tell me anything I havent already seen, heard , or read.....BUT it certainely will refresh my memory......
Am I willing to do what works..............What will work for me is to get back to my program, Thats work I'm willing to do right now. I was exhausted, frustrated and depressed yesterday...as I said NOT a good combo for me.
When I'm ready ......soon I will sit down and talk with husband about his active drinking at the camp, and I will re=inforce my boundary of " YOU cant drink here ( WE are the owners - management ) for christ sakes and be of any help to me while intoxicated." If this continues than you need just to stay at home and i will hire extra help for ME. I will phsically have him removed while drunk ( I have alot of peeps that would help me with that. ) ???? any comments
Thank you Country for your response......I realize I don't fit the profile of a WAW.....but I am the one that RUNS when the shiot is hitting the fan...have done that for years. After 2007 I will never run again. If things get that bad (the emotional abuse and the alcoholism ) I will ask him to leave, and start the seperation papers. I said I dont give idle threats...HE knows that I'm serious.
And yes I will do what it takes. " I'm too darn young to feel this darn old. " I'm not afraid this time.....I will not continue to put my head in the sand and ignore our issues.
And to honest with all of you I drink beer also. To a small extent..I am not a complete tea totler Been to AA, alanon, and counciling. I'm enuff of a controlling person I never loose control of my drinking. I know when iv'e had enuff, and I'm able to stop. I know I sound like a hyporcite. and I fight myself with " saying one thing and doing another "
So yes country I am going back to my program. Actually looking forward to it.
