I intend to live forever - so far, so good

[ClingingToHope]

Day went OK. Couple of work softball games. A little bit of swimming with D8. D12 was in one of her pre-teen/teen moods.

Worked briefly.

Good news on the part-time work. We will get to work this weekend and they need people three days. My boss gave me Friday off so I'll make $525.

That will really, really, really come in handy for the summer.

It also means I will be out of town and CAN'T come to the final court date on Friday.

I sent STBXW an email saying I'd be gone working, so she'd have to get the girls on last day of school and go to court.

Maybe it's a bit of a cop out, but I am glad I do not have to decide on Friday if I was going to court. A big part of me never wanted to step foot in court and I'll accomplish that. A small part of me wanted to be there, to hear one last time that she wanted a divorce.

After second company softball game -- we have morning and night teams that play on Mondays -- I gave a coworker a ride home. He's counseling another worker who's getting divorced and he asked how my girls were doing.

He said the kids in every divorced couple he knows are screwed up.

I told him we haven't fought even once over the girls. She wants it to be easy between us and it's taken me two years to get around to that. She's said some things to them that upset me and she's rewritten history and certain points, but we haven't had many disagreements over them.

I told him I'm just trying to let go of my need for approval from others. I've always worried about what others think of me and when my image is being threatened, that's when I get angry and I just have a simple goal -- to live without anger.

I'm not angry now. I'm just sad. I know I'm going to be sad on Friday.