basically we are seperated now what?

[Queen_of_Swords]

Ignore the wedding anniversary. She doesn't want to be reminded.
If the separation agreement is important to you in delinating boundaries and expectations, then draft one. Unless you feel it's feeding into an old pattern of hers where she sits around and waits for you to act so she can blame you.

As for her sticking around, is it "cake eating " on her part, or do you welcome the additional reasons to DB your butt off, and make every point of contact a reason for her to rethink her position?

These are things only you can figure out.