18 Wheels and a Dozen Roses

[AJM80]

A little b-ing and moaning from me - vacationing with a large family is rough. The cooking, cleaning, logistical stuff- plus my 2 little ones in a non-childproofed environment interacting with a lot of other, also tired kids... With 3 adults, 2 teens, a 7, 4, 3, 2, 1 year old....whew. You miss that extra parent's set of hands.

That said, weather, house, area is gorgeous. Hope you are all doing ok. I don't have internet, so just quick cell updates and (not likely as it is going now) maybe reading an odd post to stay caught up.

I think, even with the challenges of a blended family, that I would want to marry again. That thought alternately repulses and intrigues me, but I think it's good for kids to see their mom interacting and being loved, plus have 2 parents day to day..

General feelings today, H can go to hell for leaving me juggling 2 babies so everyone is more stressed this vacay....maybe last family vacay for me for awhile, my kids maybe spoiled...who knows, but they like their beds and some quiet playtime and I need a good amount of help when we are away like this and am feeling a bit overwhelmed. But, generally thinking of and doing other things.

[25yearsmlc]

totally reasonable emotions

here's hoping you have some FUN...or at least some adult beverages.

[AJM80]

Well, not much to say here. Told H Monday that he needed to be respectful, that if he had something to say it should come up before the day before I talk to the landlady.

I'm ready to move for real now. Have to give landlady notice in 2 weeks. Financially wouldn't work to stay here. Trying to figure out if I need to file for legal sep or just D. I am moving out of state, need to protect my right to file here.

H had a blast playing w his soon to be ex-nephew when we all got back from vacation. I'm a bit mad at him - he's missing son's 1st bday since I am leaving town/he didn't speak up when asked if he wanted to be around for it.

What do I do? Let it go? Spell out that I expect him to figure out a way to celebrate S's bday within 2 weeks of the actual date? My sister thinks he is being passive aggressive - if I lay it out for him/try to influence it's "she's so controlling" and if I don't do anything "she kept you away from me/not my fault"

Also, not sure if I tell him I am going to move or just let him pretend it isn't happening until it happens? Speaking of passive aggressive, I am going to pack some stuff while he is here tnight. Moving with 2 kids is going to take some planning, moving to a smaller place is a perfect time to dump some clutter.

[AJM80]

Starting a new thread tonight, I think.

[AJM80]

And seriously, what a dingbat. I'm going to have to deal with dating/protecting myself and the kids from weirdos, not seeing my kids during his visits, navigating holidays and special occasions, plus the cost of D. And having to figure out work, etc. I told a few of the gmas/moms in a class I take the kids to, since we won't be signing up again. They were so sad and sweet.

What are you guys thinking for father's day? I let D pick out a card, but refused the "you're my hero/i want to be just like you" ones. Maybe that was a mistake, but it felt fake/wrong. He's not a great dad this year. He's an a$$ who abandoned his unborn son and little girl, then physically walked out.

Bought H a photo album for his bday from kids - I think it's still sitting in my kitchen, actually.-

[OnMyWay]

For Father's Day, I'm planning my own thing with my D. After a crappy Mother's Day, I know to leave WAW out of it. However, I will be flexible this weekend and let her set the tone. She has to work on Father's day, so it won't be an issue.

For you, I'd recommend sort of the same - be flexible. Especially since you are stuck in the defensive same passive-agressive place as me. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

They are his kids, so let him figure it out, then support whatever he decides. If it's family time, great. If it's nothing, then it was his choice and, therefore, his loss.

[AJM80]

OMW - this is so weird. I almost started crying. H just emailed that he'd like to talk bday tonight. He's rescheduling his work trip and planning on flying back to see his parents/be around for S's bday.

[AJM80]

So, last night was a bit weird, but I still feel pretty whole and in a decent place. I ordered tape, didn't pack - have boxes, but all are cut flat in attic. Instead took kids w/ H to grab a sandwich and go to playground. I took S home after some good playtime and let them stay later.

Asked H to let me know what his bf is doing about kid's school in the town I would move to. They just started talking again after months of H dodging him. Maybe a little passive aggressive of me, but internet searches weren't cutting it and H would want to be involved in schooling decisions.

H is prob going to be around for a couple days/visit his fam while I am out of town. I did a quick check and said flights were awesome prices that weekend and that if he wanted to talk to his mom, a bday party could be a lot of fun (that I could deal with food/decore or she could go nuts)He said if kids had stuff w/my family he would cut his stay shorter. He said he'd like to have a couple fun days w/them and would prefer that I be around, but understands if I say I'm not comfortable with that. I said, knowing you are with OW sort of set me free - I have no issues telling you if something makes me uncomfortable. (And I don't - I really feel empowered and I'm not letting myself get played anymore) That I enjoyed the fam time we spent with my sister because the kids enjoyed it. I'd like to visit a specific fam member too, if we could.

AND I refrained from making a remark about info I would need for D papers. That can wait. I'm living my life, not trying to pick a fight or put him down.