Again I feel is all about w, as it always was, when she wants something.
Think I will respond tomorrow that we will talk on Sunday when w collects the kids.
Part of me says not to be flexible, as my parental have always been the ones to have the kids overnight, her parents never have, so I most likely wouldn't need to ask to change days. Idk atm, will have a think, esp after reading no more Mr nice guy which should be here tomorrow.
Me - 37 W - 38 D - 14 S - 12 Together - 16 Married - 12 Bomb - April 13, 2011 W moved out - May 13, 2011
The man I became is changing back to the man I was........... and more
W responds - Sorry as its due to work commitments I need to know concerning next week and need to confirm I can attend
I want to respond (but dont know if I will, what would it do!) "Sorry as its due to work commitments I need to know concerning next week and need to confirm I can attend the assessment days."
Sorry I dont understand why you require my help?
Me - 37 W - 38 D - 14 S - 12 Together - 16 Married - 12 Bomb - April 13, 2011 W moved out - May 13, 2011
The man I became is changing back to the man I was........... and more
W responds - Sorry as its due to work commitments I need to know concerning next week and need to confirm I can attend
I want to respond (but dont know if I will, what would it do!) "Sorry as its due to work commitments I need to know concerning next week and need to confirm I can attend the assessment days."
Sorry I dont understand why you require my help?
I am not clear on what your goal is here. There's definitely a streak of punishment in your tone so is that what you want?
She's seeing it as you being punitive or cowardly, I can't tell. But it's negative to her so, I guess it comes down to how you are coming across and I don't see the big deal here.
Am I missing something?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
I dont want her to take advantage for her own benefit when it suits her like it in the last couple of years, and not be the easy touch I became for the sake of my M and Family.
At the same time, as you say, keep the path home smooth and clear.
Will have another think of a response which does both.
Me - 37 W - 38 D - 14 S - 12 Together - 16 Married - 12 Bomb - April 13, 2011 W moved out - May 13, 2011
The man I became is changing back to the man I was........... and more
The question "what would it do" makes me think that perhaps you're trying to manipulate her. Making her miss you by going dark is one thing, being unavailable when she needs to discuss real issues is another.
Whether you want to help her out is entirely up to you. If you don't want to help her because it's inconvenient, that's fair. If it is no inconvenience and you're just holding out because you want to teach her a lesson, then it's just pettiness.
The question "what would it do" makes me think that perhaps you're trying to manipulate her. Making her miss you by going dark is one thing, being unavailable when she needs to discuss real issues is another.
I meant what good whould this do to the situation by replying that way, I just dont want her to think that I will roll over when she wants something. Her reply email was right on the time she finishes work, so W wouldn't pick up a reply untill tomorrow anyhow
Originally Posted By: zero12
Whether you want to help her out is entirely up to you. If you don't want to help her because it's inconvenient, that's fair. If it is no inconvenience and you're just holding out because you want to teach her a lesson, then it's just pettiness.
I dont mind helping out for important issues, I may say I will just have the kids, no need to swap days.
Me - 37 W - 38 D - 14 S - 12 Together - 16 Married - 12 Bomb - April 13, 2011 W moved out - May 13, 2011
The man I became is changing back to the man I was........... and more
Does it inconvenience you in some way? It clearly affects her job and remaining silent or not even texting seems kind of silly. You can be dark but it's sort of a rule to always answer things about the kids.
I don't get why you see this as her being selfish. You said it's "always about her" but isn't it about the kids AND her job commitment...?
how's that selfish? And why else would she contact you at this point?
I must still be missing something. "helping" her out in this situation is NOT you being a doormat.
It's just cooperation between adults with kids and jobs. If it's a hassle for you then I guess she can hire a sitter?
Is that better to you? I'm just asking.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
I thought the request for date changes with the kids was for personal reasons first, that's why I looked to reply in that manner. So I replied very helpfully saying I would assist for work reasons and how could I help, I got a lengthy reply with a day for next week due to work, but then a long list of other dates so she could go to parties, hen night and just dates to go out with friends, so my initial thoughts were right.
I do not have a problem helping w out for work when required and will communicate any issues regarding the kids, that's my rules whilst in the dark period, but I am reluctant to change dates just to accommodate her partying!!!!
1 of the emails yesterday started with "hope your ok?" and finished with "speak soon", strange indeed as I haven't wanted to speak to her for nearly 2 weeks, I think she is just trying to be nice so I change the dates around. 1 of my emails was very helpful and I asked if she was really fine. Got a text saying "I am fine".
Her 2 friends told her on Friday night that I was talking a lot of sense when I speak to them, knew exactly what I wanted and where I was going and that she was lucky to have a husband so switched on, apparently W's face dropped and she wanted to know what I had been talking about, but they said that was between us!. They think W was expecting me to react differently or to chase her, but said even though she had a head start emotionally she was not in a good place. Friends were also concerned over my kids (after the vodka incident, and eating) and spent some time with them whilst there, esp S12 who apparently was banished to sit on her stairs on his own for an hour whilst W wanted to talk to them and ask about me, 1 friend had to go and get him, started to cuddle him and he then wouldn't leave her side for the rest of the evening, plus the way W was shouting at the kids they were also concerned over.
W seems to be in self destruct mode IMO, esp what the kids have said and the view of her friends and what I have seen/experienced, she needs to sort herself out.
Me - 37 W - 38 D - 14 S - 12 Together - 16 Married - 12 Bomb - April 13, 2011 W moved out - May 13, 2011
The man I became is changing back to the man I was........... and more
as for the "dates" maybe you can ask HER for some dates for your mysterious GAL activities?
I think it's a chance for some turn around...but again, the KIDS!!!
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Took them bowling tonight, had 3 games, both kids won some prizes by getting a "red pin" down from the front position, they were really excited about that, and I made them feel extra special. After bowling we played some airhocky, had a great evening and food. D14 posted all over fb what a good time we we having.
Really pround of her today as she got an A in one of her exams
Originally Posted By: 25yearsmlc
as for the "dates" maybe you can ask HER for some dates for your mysterious GAL activities?
Should I offer to change some dates then you think, IDK
Thanks for your comments as usual 25
Me - 37 W - 38 D - 14 S - 12 Together - 16 Married - 12 Bomb - April 13, 2011 W moved out - May 13, 2011
The man I became is changing back to the man I was........... and more
