I tell you what, 25, I do look so forward to your posts--you have a way of putting things that just "ring true" with me. I have struggled for YEARS trying to explain to my mother how her spewing about my (now dead) father was putting a wedge between her and my sister and I. I could see how she used it to be the "victim". She took no responsibiity for anything that went wrong. Ever. Still doesn't.
But I have let fly a few zingers at her lately.lol. It sure is fun to leave them speechless!
She was one of the reasons that when my H was "unhappy" the first time I REALLY dug deep--I did NOT want to be "clueless" like she was. And the old saying, "ask and you shall receive" sure rang true with me--I had LOTS of faults--TONS. I love how you posted to someone recently that it's GOOD NEWS when you can find out where you have gone wrong--you can do a lot of fixing! I started to "get that". I asked God to show me more, and he usually did.lol. Still does in fact!lol.
I share what I can--I have practically taken over the Divorce and Support Care group at church.lol. I try to get people to give their M a second chance--try to explain how at this point it really isn't too painful to be going through a D. I gave it everything. You'll never be sorry in the end when you really "do the work".
And my H? Well, we have had a "no contact" order for the past 5 months (he struck me in Jan). I did see him back in March to negotiate our D. I signed paperwork a few weeks ago from the State Attorney's office (who brought a case against my H for assault--even though I never pressed charges--they are getting tough on this stuff now though...) I think since I signed the paperwork the case was dropped and the no contact order is dropped too. They are TERRIBLE about letting you know what is happening. As H came to the house today and knocked on the door to get my S15. That was quite unnerving actually. I was in my bedroom and I got very scared.
I don't want to be "buds" with my STBExH, but..I don't know how to be. I have struggled today a lot with that. Invite him in? Be friendly? I have made a lot of changes to the house since he's been gone. I haven't had a BIT of trouble GAL. I know he's asked my S15 how I'm doing in school (great--loving every moment of it!!) I forgive him, but fear he's going to try to find ways to "get me". I know he knows I'm doing well without him.
You wrote a little about them "watching you". Do you have more thoughts about that?
