Originally Posted By: 2stepboogie
And sometimes they are just DONE


Hey 2, who are you talking about here? The spouse?

Yes I will agree that there are some that are just done...

And eventually, we come to accept that if they are...

Personally, I wouldn't have wanted to come to that conclusion until I felt that I had done everything I could and then a little bit more...

Things we should realize, especially when trying to DB...

There are NO guarantees...

Life just doesn't work that way...

Patience is key to anything...

Healing is important....

Boundaries are important, if you are in an emotional place to be able to enforce the boundaries that you set...

That you can set them and have no regrets about the outcome...

Threatening to "move on" when you aren't ready...

Thinking you can coerce, frighten, or wake your spouse up to get them to move in some direction is not a great thing...

Especially since the odds are that they will move in the direction that they are already moving, which is further away from you...

So unless you are ready for that, unless you are ready to live with the consequences of that boundary, you need to NOT set it...

So you try something different...

You look within longer, deeper, harder...

You find more patience...

You live your life and make yourself happy....

You DB...

And I will tell you, years after the end of my M, I still DB...

I still look within...

I still measure what works in every aspect of my life and ask myself the things that Michelle has asked above...

The principals of it, to get unstuck, work in any situation...


"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox