New - HELP! Tried the 180/Last Resort & Failed

[AloneAt35]

Hi Everyone,

Its been awhile since I posted. My partner moved most of his things to his new house last weekend. I was visiting my nephews so I didn't have to endure watching him unload the house. He took very little (mainly just his clothes, computer gear, a few pots and pans, and an air mattress) and was respectful about leaving anything that I could questionably want. Ironically, he conspicuously left four things:

1.) His electric toothbrush (which I had put away but he moved back to the sink).

2.) One outfit in a drawer with a lot of his underwear. (Maybe OW doesn't want him to wear underwear so he won't be needing it???)

3.) A pair of shoes that he always wore when mowing the lawn (mowing the lawn became an issue between us after he went AWOL, but I got the blades sharpened enough that I can now do it myself).

4.) Our contraceptive stuff in the drawer with his underwear - he's more likely to need it than me, but maybe that would be disrespectful to the other woman. I say waste not, want not and use it up...we wouldn't want OW having a second child out of wedlock.

In the midst of him moving out he called and we had an agonizing conversation. I wasn't able to keep up the friendly/cheerful Divorce Busting facade, he heard my sadness. He unloaded all of the details of his new life on me and said we need to get things "disentangled" as fast as possible because OW and her kid (the one she denied having) are moving in with him in a few weeks. He also said they are planning on getting married (they'd had six 'in person' dates at this point) and he is sorry that he "could never give me the good things" he is giving her. He painfully reminded me that he felt "no spark" for me and that none of this was my fault. He said that I made him the good person he is today...it broke my heart.

I asked him is he'd yet met the OW's son or been allowed to visit her house and he said "NO, but she's not scamming me!" (A week prior we had a really good conversation on the phone where I acted as a "friend" and he told me about the strangeness and secrecy of OW and he actually referred to her as "Crazy Lady", which delighted me to hear. I had told him to try to meet her friends, family, and son - out of fairness to everyone - before they move in together, but she had a compelling excuse why it just couldn't happen.)

Since that painful conversation, I have not spoken to him. Its been 11 days. He emailed and left phone messages for me a few times about stupid stuff - a question about a baking pan - or some other ridiculous possession that I said he could take. I replied by email to all messages at once.

Last Monday (Memorial Day) he sent a bizarre email asking if I needed any "help around the house." I said that I didn't need anything but that if there was stuff he was still wanting (his underwear???) that he was welcome to come over and get it. He sent another heartbreaking reply back:

"No, I don't need anything, I just wanted to make sure there was nothing that needs to be done in the house while I still have time."

*"While I still have time"* means before OW comes to live with him because he has constantly felt the need to reiterate that she is very possessive and will not allow him to have contact with me.

So that is where we stand, there has been no contact for a week.

How do I DB at this juncture? He had a MLC. He met a woman on the internet, he's determined to marry her as soon as possible. We weren't legally married so there is nothing I can do to stop it. DB techniques work, but they take time. Time is what I don't have. Three months ago he was in a committed 20-year relationship with me, now he's determined to make a life with a mystery woman at warp speed.

Old timers, is there anything, anything at all that I can be doing? I'm following the LRT like crazy, I'm GAL but he doesn't care, I'm changing ME, but he still seems to be on a collision course with destiny.

Please help!!!