Just journaling now. H has been skyping everyday since he went back overseas (Thu, Fri & Sat). I had been calm, collected and detach during these sessions and always been the one to say goodbye. He calls me wifey on his chatty emails and he was friendly.
Yesterday's email he asked me what did I do with the kids and I told him what we did - we went to a friends house because my sister is here and that the kids had too much fun playing. Then this morning I got this email which basically just said. "Thank you for telling me how wonderful your day was yesterday and for rubbing it in while I am being shot/mortared here". He didn't skype today too..WTH. He was asking how our day was and what did we do. I really don't know what to say to him.. If I become monosyllabic and detached he doesn't like it - if I am just calm and normal - he doesn't like it. Maybe I will start being cheerful (which is going to be hard but I will probably try).
It's hard to DB with him so far away. I want to stop emailing/skyping but he's out there fighting the war and our kids are still too young to sit still in front of the computer so I need to be there when he skypes with the babies.
I just realized I didn't cry even once today and the hole in my heart doesn't feel so deep. My sister is staying for few more days, my kids are wonderful and I am starting to plan what I want to do. I hope tomorrow is another good day.
Me 43 / H 36 M 3 / T5 S18/ D17 with 1st H D3 D1 H Emotionally detached March 2011 I dont love you May 17 2011 Husband is deployed
