What to do when nothing is working

[liz_palmer]

What have you tried? What are your results? What will you try next?

I am doing my best to remember that the OW is nothing to me. This is one of the only things that gets me through their phone calls and texts, expecially when we're in the same room. I'm not showing how down I get I'm only showing my friendly, smiling face. I'm acting 'as if' and I'm trying my 180's. I make sure he knows I'm appreciative of his hard work, I wish him good morning and good night. I offer my thanks for his help and I accept his offer of help where before I would refuse based on principle. I have increased my initiation of physical intimacies and have increased the display of passion that I used to hide from him.

I’m working on my GAL. I go out with my friends more often, I spend more time with my daughter. I laugh around him more often and I have changed my hair and have started a work-out regime.

My results vary. He accepts my flirting and he has started flirting with me which leads to physical intimacies. He talks to me more than before (the OW had taken my place as a sounding board), he helps me around the house more. He looks me in the eye when he talks to me. We spend a lot more time together just doing simple things like watching tv together. (He hasn’t moved out although it has been mentioned a time or two. He says he's staying until the house sells because I've been a stay-at-home mom for years and have no income, that he won't leave me in the lurch)

I have no idea what my next move will be but it had better be a good one – the OW seems more in the picture now than before. It seemed to me that their relationship had been fizzling out over the last few weeks but then in the last three/four days she’s been ‘in my face’ with phone calls and text messages. I need something that’s really going to get him turned away from her and back to me. I know he's confused by the changes he sees in me but I just can't figure out that magic button to push to get rid of the OW.

Any suggestions?

Liz