You are the bigger person, Nine. You always have been. I just wonder if you see what you're doing these times you are trying to do the right thing, take the highroad, or be the bigger person. What I'm seeing is a man who tries to detach, and even go dark for a few days, but gets sucked back into the hold his WAW has on him.
You love her. She keeps this stirred by contacting you every day. Oh, yes I know that the children are used as the excuse for the contact....but that's all it is. I'm sure it seems legit to you when you call or email her about one of the boys, but it's an excuse. I've know divorced people who never, NEVER, contacted each other and had little children. It can be done!
I think your biggest problem is not making up your mind which you want to do.....drop the rope and move forward, or hang around a few years to see if her and OM break up. There's not a day that goes by that you don't hope that she's kick OM to the curb and she'll call wanting to go back home. Even though that may be normal, I tend to believe you won't stop until until you make yourself drop the rope. Stop the contact, Nine. The boys aren't going to think less of you for standing tall and moving on with your life. The people in the community sure won't think less of you. In fact, they may have lost a little respect knowing you keep rolling over as she emotionally kicks you in the b@lls.
I'm not trying to hurt you, Nine. Never have. I want to help you. But, until you can decide, and say which way to go with this, I just stay kind of confused and not sure what advice to give. But....I'm still here for you, FWIW.
(((hugs)))
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
