you are right, there wasn't an OW that I know of, although I know h went on a few dates...(as did I) I did not snoop but I confronted once, pretty calmly and asked what he wanted. he said he wanted "US" but his actions were hell bent on his adventure in the Arctic wonderland...
and I had a d16 to finish HS so I pretty much knew I would not move til she finished school and that was 2 years. So I had some clarity of what I HAD to do for awhile. My plans for later...not as clear but eventually I did feel excited about MY future. That makes a big difference 9.
So I can only say...is moving on necessarily the same as giving up?
I don't think it is.
I think you can swim to the other shore better if you don't keep looking at the beach you left, (it's a he!! of a lot less painful)
and when you get to the other side you'll find you are a bit winded but stronger, and in a better place for a R...with someone...
which does NOT mean she cannot make the same swim later, when she's sure of what she wants.
If that time comes, I think she'll be clearer.
The question will be if you want her to join you where you are then.
The old m is dead. That's true and that's a good thing, right?
In truth, your m had troubles you came to realize after she left, correct?
Don't forget that when you say you miss her.
Sure You want to remember the good times, yes. But don't white wash it when you start to feel that way.
Her family is...hmm, how do I say this delicately??
"Mean and nutty". Do you miss that stuff? Do you miss her bad moods?
Stay on your course and be a great dad. Model for them what men of honor and strength do, when they take a body blow like you have.
You'll never regret it. No matter how much pain you have endured by marriage to her, if the only way to have your kids in your life was to go thru it all again, I think you would in a heartbeat.
(I told my kids that once or twice, and they really seemed to appreciate it.) If it is true for you, let them know.
I won't tell you to hang in there and "hold on" for 2 years, b/c SOMETIMES hope can paralyze.
It's your life and life IS short. You are right. I just don't think moving on mandates giving up.
Take care
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
