Life is a highway

[ninelives]

I dont think I got my point across well here. She called as I was in the car driving my son to her place. So he must have showed up just about then. I dont know. I suppose since I was 15 minutes late, I had this coming to me. I am guessing that when she called my place, she was going to say that she was going to pick up youngest son. I am giving her the benefit of the doubt.

But again, I would have made damn sure that youngest son was there and then called OM if she had to see him tonight. It does bother me that OM is spending time with half my family but IT is what it is. I have to face that fact.

Oldest son asked me what was up and saw I was a little shaken. Nothing I said. Why did mom hang up on me when i said you were coming over. Dont worry about it I said. I changed the subject.

Hes no dummy. I think he knows but I dont want this to continue.

I have a chance at another date this weekend with a girl from the city who wants to move here. SHe is a teacher's assistant and even applied to my highschool, got the job but then turned it down. She has a cottage on this island.

I have been conversing with her on and off for about 5 months and she looks alot like my wife. Im not sure what to do about her. She mentioned that she is coming to the island this weekend and maybe we should hook up. I cant make that decision right now as my emotions are a little up but seriously, what am I holding on to here. She is in a full relationship with the OM, and is exposing my youngest to him on a full time basis it seems. How long do I wait until this fizzles out.

And then what, I pick up the pieces from there. Isnt it time that I just faced reality and say. ITs over and good luck with OM. I dont believe that their relationship will work but then again, I didnt think it would last this long. She may regret her decision or she may not.

ITs time to really let go of the rope and JUst try and be happy because life will pass me by. I know I will always love her on some level and I do almost feel sorry for her. She has been struggling most of her life to be happy and if she is truly getting there, Why should i stand in her way.

Is it possible that people make the wrong decision for this long with out being aware of what they are doing? How is that possible? She knows I love her and I think she believes that there would still be a chance for us but she would have to act sooner than later. I think even she knows that the longer she continues with OM in this manner, the harder it would be for us to be together again.

Holy, I intended this to be a short post but my fingers wont stop typing. That is one of the reasons I have tried very hard to stay away from her house. I have not creeped her facebook forever and even blocked her from seeing mine for at least 3 months now or longer.

I know 25 ,you went 2 years but there wasnt an OM or Ow in your case being flaunted in your face.

What am I holding on to. Not self respect, that is for sure.

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