9 You bring some very good points, an that's why I am adamant that she has to be willing to fix us first.
I will not compete for her attention. That is a non negotiable. In order to do this we need to build a strong marriage. I need to feel that at the end of the day she undoubtedly chooses me. That our marriage is so strong that if given a choice she would choose me every time. My buddy claims to have that type of relationship and says thats why it works for them.
Your comment about whether if it's something I would seek if not backed into a corner is a good one. The main reason I haven't wanted was BECAUSE I was backed into a corner. We are hanging by a thread and she wants to bring in competition?!
Had we had a more healthy relationship where we are both sure of our commitment to each other I think I would have willingly tried it. Like I said before going to strip club with her was alot of fun. It felt nice to have someone I could be that comfortable with. In the past she would jealously cover my eyes up if a sexy girl in a bikini appeared on tv. We recently watched porn together. That's what I want from her. I want us to be adventurous to try new things, and for the both of us to get over our insecurities. In order to do that we need a strong marriage.
You can rest assure that if things don't work out I most likely won't be back here. If after all this, I am not enough she can have the D. I think I have given enough, she needs to sacrifice not me.
As for the general philosophy of this site, I agree that I have veered quite a bit. I've restricted myself to commenting only on threads that I had already started on. I don't feel comfortable commenting on new threads, based on my actions. That being said I have learned a lot here, and I want to thank everyone. Especially young and 25 who keep up with my craziness on a daily basis.
Thanks to this community I have gained a stronger appreciation of myself my W and M. I survived the separation, learned how to deal with the fights, learned how to prevent the fights, learned how to gain back a lot of my self respect, and how not to be such a doormat when it comes to my W all thanks to this wonderful community.
The difference between this and other times is that before she demanded things of me, this time I am willing and somewhat intrigued by the concept of an open marriage, but it has to be on my terms, and on my timeline. If not she can go elsewhere.
In the past she set all the terms and wrote the rules to her advantage. I will compromise with her, but I will not settle for scraps.
Finally 25 I want to thank you for helping me realize my self worth of a H. I really am a catch, and if she doesn't want to accept my terms then she can go. I'm good looking, smart, in great shape, a great conversationist, have a great job and much more. If she can't appreciate that then too bad.
