Just been reading the stages of a person in MLC, and I can certainly put my finger on a few things. I had previously said things started to go pear shape a while back and with her insults and abusive language towards me in front on friends I can see something here.
Me - 37 W - 38 D - 14 S - 12 Together - 16 Married - 12 Bomb - April 13, 2011 W moved out - May 13, 2011
The man I became is changing back to the man I was........... and more
even though I did the same thing (reading about MLC and men's life changes, etc) or maybe because I did those same things,
I'd suggest you read more about how YOU will create a more fulfilling joyous life. And about phases your children are likely to go through with this situation. Be the best Dad you can be, and the best man you can be.
My biggest regret in looking back, is all the time I WASTED (yes, wasted, b/c the answers do NOT matter until IF and WHEN THEY get it...no point in reading for the "Secret answer" b/c the secret is that there is no secret) on obsessing and "studying" H...
Trying to figure out "Why" and "How can he" and blah blah blah... Making it all about HIM...
Instead, it should have been all about "what can I do for me and my children to have an even better life, starting today?"
Learn from my experience. Good luck.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Strange that 25, my best friend said exactly the same thing this afternoon.
Esp now W is drinking every night and the vodka incident.
W friends have started to distance themselves from her, so W is starting to contact other friends from years ago now to see if they "want to go out" i.e. drinking, clubbing etc!!
But as you say and friends have said to me, its about ME and my KIDS now, and being the best I can be for US.
Me - 37 W - 38 D - 14 S - 12 Together - 16 Married - 12 Bomb - April 13, 2011 W moved out - May 13, 2011
The man I became is changing back to the man I was........... and more
W came round early to drop the kids off, so as planned I quickly jumped in the shower.
S12 told W I was in shower, W waited a few minutes then left.
Together with not coming down to see her on Friday when she picked up the "vodka" it’s been 8 days since I last saw her, and will be 15 days to next Sunday when W comes to get the kids.
Whilst some may say this is the only opportunity I get to see her, I want to go dark without seeing each other to see if anything happens, i.e. any signs or baby steps similar to when she first left and I went dark. I think next week she will want to see how I am. Hopefully this dark time is giving her time to realise things, buts she is just so stubborn I doubt it will. It is hard but I am determined to do it for ME.
When I was out last night I saw a couple of W's "old" friends (separately) and they said I seemed happy and looked really good, the best they had seen me. It was nice to get female comments like that and I felt good last night.
D14 told me that she had "sleepovers" most nights last week at her mums, she won’t be doing that here as her bedroom is a mess LOL.
GAL plans for this week. 1) Go out cycling again a few nights when the kids are out with their friends (only locally as not to far away if needed) 2) Bowling with the kids Tue (if they tidy their rooms) 3) Going to see family with kids 4) Play some board games with kids in the evening (need to get S12 off his Xbox) 5) Go out with kids somewhere, then for something to eat Sat 6) Reading db/dr parts again (can anyone recommend other good reading material applicable?) 7) Obviously, coming on here
Me - 37 W - 38 D - 14 S - 12 Together - 16 Married - 12 Bomb - April 13, 2011 W moved out - May 13, 2011
The man I became is changing back to the man I was........... and more
D14 has just been telling me that they have only eaten scrambled egg on toast today!!!! W doesnt understand how to use the oven , only has microwave meals for herself and that they have had McDonalds the last 3 days!!!!
Not my problem I know for W, but not good for the kids
So lots of homemade food this week which I will get the kids to help with, and some cakes and loaves (I used to be a chef)
Me - 37 W - 38 D - 14 S - 12 Together - 16 Married - 12 Bomb - April 13, 2011 W moved out - May 13, 2011
The man I became is changing back to the man I was........... and more
Try reading The Five Love Languages by Chapman if you want more reading material.
There's also some books for men that you can ask gucci or braveheart or Jack3beans for.
I think one is called [edited by dbmod: advertising/not recommended] or words to that effect. The guys say it's good.
Last edited by dbmod; 06/26/1101:53 PM.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
