wanting to do it so you can free yourself of anger and baggage is a good start.
Just don't expect it to happen overnight. It's like a two steps forward, one back kind of thing, or was for me.
Somewhere around here I wrote about a 4 day conference my h invited me and d's too, just before his planned departure.
At first I balked b/c it seemed weird and fakey and I'd have to hide my pain and anger and fears
Somehow I managed to shelve all that for FOUR days only...I thought I could do it. I got super good and NOT seeing any negatives in him and only saw positives or at worst, neutrals. Like his intelligent discussions with d's, rather than thinking he was "nerding out"...
anyhow, b/c of the girls and thinking it was the last time we'd have a chance to build good memories for them, I did it.
I let go of ALL the baggage I'd carried around (with every intention of resuming the anger and pain AFTER the 4 days...seriously...I am embarassed to admit thtat but it's how I was able to try the "experiment")
Thing is, h reacted positively to my changes and we all had a blast on the trip. I mean HIS behavior changed after a day and a half of mine... So I inadvertently started to see what forgiveness might look like, b/c I had temporarily done it...and that was a turning point for me.
It was a glimpse of what could be. And it begins with a change of attitude and then a big fat letting go of the past...
Good luck
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
