I hope she regrets her choice but I may never know.
I want to clarify.
When I said make her regret her choice, I didn't mean it as a tactic.
What I mean is get to where you want to be and when you look back, you have the sense that she regrets her decision. IOW's Flip the sitch so where YOU KNOW you are the better guy, her loss.
Hahaha....put it this way too. Just like your friend pissed you off about saying "the OM was a nice guy". Why not be the MAN that the OM asks himself or wonders "Why did she leave him. He's awesome." Total attitude, not reality.
Small town...with a BIG DB attitude.
It was meant as an attitude not a tactic. My apologies for not being clearer.
i went to the greenblue thread and its locked. Im not sure what to say to him though. Open marriages? I know a couple that is into this and they are still together but I cant say they have a great relationship.
To me , why bother getting married if you cant commit to that person. I guess to each their own and like I said, the other couple are still together and Im a Db board so what do i know?
9
BITS M-46 W-42 M-16y T-19 y s10 s15 BombDec.19/09 Sep-F16/10 Sep Papers signed by W- June 30/10 Recon July 5/10 PA foundOut- Oct 30/10 Mental HospNov/10 moved out Nov/10 Leg Sep Mar 15/11
Nine - what day of dark are you on now? Just wondering. I sm starting day 11. I think the best I ever made was 12 and then STBX called about some fairly trivial stuff.
For me initiating? Lost count; but I havent contacted her , including her birthday last Sat. for 8 days today. Im sure she will text me today to verify dropping off youngest son but not really necessary as it has been established a 5:30 drop off.
9
BITS M-46 W-42 M-16y T-19 y s10 s15 BombDec.19/09 Sep-F16/10 Sep Papers signed by W- June 30/10 Recon July 5/10 PA foundOut- Oct 30/10 Mental HospNov/10 moved out Nov/10 Leg Sep Mar 15/11
I meant total darkness - as in nothing between the two of you. STBX is likely quite happy having no contact at all, so I seem to finally be doing something that she likes!!! We have had zero contact for the last 10 days. I still plan on contacting on her b'day, since by then it will most likely have been almost a month of complete darkness and 2 months since actually seeing each other.
The last time I initiated contact was well over a month ago. Really - why would we contact them? Would we contact other people who dislike us so much they would change their entire lives just to be away from us?
total darkness has been 1 week and a day. She has called the house ( after I have asked her not to) but I dont answer the phone.
She made a comment about one of my friends having a big butt to my son. My best friend and then my son asked me if that was true while on the phone and I said, " What a hell of a question that is?" But i didnt talk to her.
My son and I were singing when she called and made a comment that everybody sounded happy here.
So to answer your question , finally, Its been 8 days of total darkness.
9
BITS M-46 W-42 M-16y T-19 y s10 s15 BombDec.19/09 Sep-F16/10 Sep Papers signed by W- June 30/10 Recon July 5/10 PA foundOut- Oct 30/10 Mental HospNov/10 moved out Nov/10 Leg Sep Mar 15/11
She called again today to talk about the guitar and if we should just give it to oldest son even though his birthday isnt until the 20th since he already knows about it.
I have another challenge. She jumped the gun on his birthday plans and said she will take him to the city with a friend of his choice. I just got the pool up and running today and got youngest one in. I suggested to son that we have a small pool party with some of his closest friends and I could have some of her crazy family over.
Dont want to have her sister over but i will put out the invite. She hosted youngest sons birthday in march and I thought it would only be fair that I host this one and if need be, I will drive son to city with friend, not her.
Am i being petty?
9
BITS M-46 W-42 M-16y T-19 y s10 s15 BombDec.19/09 Sep-F16/10 Sep Papers signed by W- June 30/10 Recon July 5/10 PA foundOut- Oct 30/10 Mental HospNov/10 moved out Nov/10 Leg Sep Mar 15/11
Btw BTM, she was conversing with son so I didnt have to talk to her however, I fear that this matter needs to be settled quickly so I have to converse with her. Remember, in my sitch I cant be totally dark when the kids are involved.
9
BITS M-46 W-42 M-16y T-19 y s10 s15 BombDec.19/09 Sep-F16/10 Sep Papers signed by W- June 30/10 Recon July 5/10 PA foundOut- Oct 30/10 Mental HospNov/10 moved out Nov/10 Leg Sep Mar 15/11
she's got baggage and they have issues...but there's no indifference-which I see as the
near end point
oh, 9, GB90 has a new thread...and I know 2 couples who tried open m's-both divorced...
seems easier to just cheat, and not be so damn "open"...
how's that for "advice"? (It's not!)
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
I suggested to son that we have a small pool party with some of his closest friends and I could have some of her crazy family over.
Dont want to have her sister over but i will put out the invite. She hosted youngest sons birthday in march and I thought it would only be fair that I host this one and if need be, I will drive son to city with friend, not her.
Why??? I don't get it!!
I have been around divorced couples in families all of my life and the only time I ever saw the families together was the weddings, funerals, and births. Why on earth would you do this? Have a party for him. Let his mother and her side of the family give their party for him. That is how families do when they are split.
Why call yourself going dark and do that? I just don't get it. Are you co-dependent on her that badly?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Total attitude, not reality.