I am so lost... Please someone help me!

[Johnnieno1]

Thank you for the solid advice my friends.  (btw  i have read D.R.)

I did see some signs of "Life" yesterday.  I went to the park with the kids (my 2 oldest) and we played at the ball diamond, just batting and catching.  My wife came after with our youngest and she went to the climbers with her (just close enough to see us). I had fun with the kids and soon some other neighborhood kids joined in.  When We got home I stayed outside while she watched tv with the kids (I was reading this forum and talking to my youngest d). Later, that evening I went in to watch TV and WOW she was pleasant!  Even offering me a snack of nachos.  We exchanged small talk like usual, but something was different and that was her tone.  It was friendlier and her coldness to me had thawed slightly.

Like most people who are new to this situation, you get so much conflicting advice (from your friends, family etc).   You are not sure what will work or if you are following the right path.  It was very encouraging to see a glimmer of improvement.  I have been trying to be strong and set the groundwork to follow the 5 donts that were pointed out by FaithnAK.  I have been doing them to the best of my ability since reading DR on Thursday (2 days after letter bomb drop). Also, I know that 25yearsmlc is exactly right about the loving interaction between a father and his kids.  Although I have been that way with them their whole life, she just needed to recognize it.  

The only piece of information I can think to add is that I am not able to drive due to the fact that my vision is very poor.  So, I depend on her sometimes to drive me where I need to go.  I try to keep it minimal, but I am worried that she sees this as a weakness and although it would be shitty for her to admit it, she resents it.  I realized this fact yesterday when we went out in the morning to buy some clothes (30 lbs. lost makes everything loose).   I made sure to show her what I bought and show my excitement at the reduction in waist sizes.  That is not something I have to fake, because I am happy with my progress since the bomb drop in February.  

The letter bomb drop on Tuesday was her way of letting me know that she felt pressure from me.  The difference I see it is that until reading DR I was pushing her away by being needy and forcing talk of the R.  While reading DR on Thursday, I texted her to apologize for the pressure I had been applying and until that point and also let her know that she was about to witness a renewed effort from me, and asking for some time and her patience.  Now I HAVE TO stick to the plan.  My glimmer of hope from yesterday has proved to me that this program could work, as long as I stay strong and stick to it.  For the first time in a long time I feel encouraged.  

Thank you again to all of you my new friends, I wish you were here so I could hug you, we are all bound by one thing in common, WE BELIEVE IN MARRIAGE.   Thank god I found you in time (hopefully).