I'll admit that this is more negotiating than a true boundary.

I'm following the advice of a close friend who claims to have a successful open marriage he told me to consider why this bothered me so much. To consider if my jealousy stems from being afraid of losing her to someone else. Well it's true that this has weighed heavily on me. I'm also not going to lie and say I didn't enjoy going to a strip club with her.

He explained that couples that are not solid to begin with, will inevitably get a D. So as 25 said this marriage was doomed the way it was going. Also as 25 and my buddy said relationships are about sacrifice. So I'm going to try to be open minded about this marriage thing if she can convince me that she cares about me. When she asked me how I told her that she had to show to me that we can have a good M without OP's before we even consider OP's. I'm not going to lie and say that a very adventurous sex life sounds interesting. Yet I have decided as a personal boundary that I will not do it while our M is on the rocks. In other words all the excitement of this is not worth all the strain it will put on a struggling M.

I told her that she needs to decide if our marriage is worth making sacrifices in the near term. She told me she couldn't go without OP's I told her that her statement told me our M was not worth it then, and she could leave if she wanted. She said she needed time, I told her that was fine.

She has been calling all the shots, I'll compromise some. Most importantly I feel OP's at this point will only hinder progress. She told me she needed to do what made her happy I agreed. I also told her I needed the same, and that the current sitch was not working for me.


She threatened to walk a couple of times I told her she could.

We went to bed I could tell she had a lot on her mind. This morning it was as if nothing had happened which I guess is a very passive away of accepting my boundaries. I'm sure they will be tested soon. I pray for strength. We seem to be in good terms. Then again her powers of avoidance are amazing.