Thanks again for stopping by I appreciate it more than I can repay.
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if you weren't feeling something, you wouldn't be posting like this.
Oh I am feeling. I feel very intensely and it hurts. I get very frustrated with myself because somehow I have created some kind of timeline in my head of how I should be feeling. 3 months I should feel this way 6 months this way 12 months this way. It is very foolish and unwise because all you do is disappoint yourself.
My sitch was not always as clear cut as some others, at least not to me. The exchange I had in April was confusing but as is the case with my X she has been consistent with her actions.
I should not be surprised.
The feeling is very real.
A great lost.
A constant pain.
I have made many mistakes in my M, many, but as I sit and reflect on the last ten years I also did a lot of good. I was a good H and although I fell short sometimes I always put my W and D first. ALways.
Still the outcome does not change.
Moving forward my future looks hazy but I believe it is starting to come into clear view, I have been here before, a false positive of sorts.
I have to believe at one point you do not feel you just live. I have to..........
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she knows the boundary clearly and you live the boundary
What an interesting statement. She knows. It has been an unspoken boundary but one that has always been clearly defined. She knows how I felt about the R with OM. SHe knows that I was not comfortable with it. I know it had not gone physical. Still to this day I have no proof of anything we have not spoken in 3 weeks. It is very possible she moved into a place with a GF or even her own place. Moving in OK is not as pricey as moving in Jersey she could have done this with very little cost.
To me it is clear where the R is heading even if nothing has happened.
We are all grown people here capable of seeing things for what they are when we remove emotions.
Even if it has not gone physical it is not a sitch I am comfortable with. When in doubt............pull out!!
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Strength, Honor
It is funny I have this tattooed on my shoulder. Perhaps it is time to start to live it.
