I have just deleted all the comments and not responded to any of them. Now I worry that her friends are trying to influence her some. She tells me that she doesnt need counseling that her friends are her support system.
She told me last night that she didnt want to go to a MC because they would want to discuss how to save the M and she isnt there yet 100%. I know that is hard to hear... are you kidding? That's GREAT NEWS!! HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THIS??? IT's less than a month since you turned her world upside down...and you say it's "hard to hear" that she's NOT 100% ready to try and save your m? You have a big sense of entitlement or you are being a real Eyeore...snap out of it. anor. but I am doing a 180 and trying to look at it a positive m Thank God.
I am choosing to look at it like this. She isnt there 100% so that means she could be moving that direction. It means she is considering it. Um, yeah ^^^.
I have to take it as a good sign or my anxiety and impulse to talk things to death will drive me crazy. Then get some help. For you to take that comment as anything but good is not healthy and could very well cost you the m.
Of course it is already high since I am taking a beating on Facebook from her friends.
Get off Facebook. Be grateful she's not listening to all of them. Stay the course. Leave her alone, show the changes you are making are NOT tactics to get her back, (which they'll look like if you keep pushing her "to decide" or to "try and save the m" or whatever, all so you can feel better/it is fixed...it doesn't work that way. You cannot keep wanting HER to do or say 'x' b/c you have changed. Just do the changes and let her find her way.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Like what her friends are saying. Say the serenity prayer and turn that stuff over to God.
If people see you two work out and the changes you 've made, you'll be teaching them a valuable lesson about change, and forgiveness.
It's a beautiful legacy to leave your children.
(So who cares what people who don't know you anymore, think?)
Back to "Plan Tigger"...
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Was a really good weekend....W and I took the kids a few places, had good family time. On Sunday the W surprised me by making me a B-Day cake and bought me a present. Today is my actual b-day but due to a death in the family she is going to be out of town. Which is horrible, that she has lost another family member this year. It was a distant relative and she decided I should just stay home with the kids since none of the other siblings spouses are going. I complied, because at this point I just do what she ask without question. Have dropped the MC question for the time being just enjoying the fact I am still home and she is considering her options with me.
yes Patience...I have been thinking. It seems that me just acting normal, with out the sadness and moping around helped some. I kept myself busy taking care of things around the house. I even got a small hug from the W.
My eyeore side is telling me to watch out and be careful, but I am trying to ignore him and not feed into that trap. Seems like it spells disaster everytime I do.
yes Patience...I have been thinking. It seems that me just acting normal, with out the sadness and moping around helped some. maybe that's b/c she doesn't want to feel obligated to comfort you in your pain. She's the aggrieved party, not you. It's probaby very annoying to see you implicitly wanting HER to comfort YOU...So don't play the part of victim b/c it really looks like that if you mope in front of her. Plus it's NOT attractive. She wants to think you can be trusted and strong enough not to cave in to temptation again. So show your strength, not your weakness or neediness. Couldn't SHE walk around sad all the time, given the situation? But she's not...so don't make this about how YOU feel...do you see why?
I kept myself busy taking care of things around the house.[b][b] I even got a small hug from the [/b]W. [/b] that's HUGE!!
My eyeore side is telling me to watch out and be careful, but I am trying to ignore him and not feed into that trap. Seems like it spells disaster everytime I do.
YES IT DOES HURT YOUR CAUSE...no mystery here. Not complicated. What happened to the Tigger approach?
YOUR "Changes" HAVE TO LAST MORE THAN A WEEKEND CHRIS, or no one will believe they are real. ...COME ON NOW...
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
