Will post a proper reply tomorrow. Bottomline I told her that this open thing was not working for either one of us. Told her that the jealousy we had stemmed from us being so insecure about our M. Told her that until we fix us an open marriage is just doomed for D.
Told her that before we even considered opening it we had to fix us. Told her marriage is about sacrifice, and that I could tell she wasnt willing to do that for me. Told her neither of us was allowed OP's until we had a good marriage. She said she didn't think she could do that. Told her marriage is about sacrificing for each others happiness, and if she couldnt do that we were destined to fail. We discussed other things but that's the key points.
I feel pretty good about myself right now.
ok, I posted those other replies to you before I saw that you had done this. GOOD JOB. Only thing I would have changed is, instead of saying "neither of us is 'allowed' OPs" (you're not her father), is something like "you're an adult, and you can do whatever you choose to do. I'm just telling you that an open marriage doesn't work for me, so if that's what you want, it will have to be with someone else."
The first way is controlling, and an ultimatum. The second way is a boundary of your own personal integrity.
