I have officially gone dark and it is scary-pleasant but strictly child exchange only. I have called an attorney and have tentative plans to file for divorce in a couple of weeks. Do I want to file-NO! But I am so tired, the constant pressure to support him (indirect but if I hear that he has to go teach tennis lessons in order to eat any more, i will lose it!) and my kids are suffering. I am just so tired....I am at a business meeting here in Chicago and between the weight loss and the smile on my face, I have been hit on 3 times in one day. When H saw me early this morning to watch the kids before I headed to the airport, he tried to initiate conversation and actually "checked me out" (new size 8 jeans). I kept it pleasant but business like, letting him know where I would be. Otherwise no text/calls/etc. Could really use some advice....my company may be laying off soon and for financial reasons, I may have to make some decisions about my marriage....if I am severanced, he may have access to this money and it could make things pretty horrible if we do divorce. BTW-did I mention that I will be picking up a second job at a bone marrow transplant clinic to start saving up pro-actively (I work as a PA) beginning in July? It is so hard to handle this by myself and even though I have great friends, my family lives in Maine and his family is in Australia. ANy feedback?
