Thank you for your very wise words Beatrice. I agree.
Thank you Punkin. Even after all this time, I am so grateful that I can come here and have folks understand exactly what I'm feeling.
Oh Punkin, I'm under no illusion that H doesn't want to let me go. He just was taken aback by how much it's going to cost to get rid of me.
In his fantasy world I was only going to get what he wanted to give me. The state has other ideas. As far as living goes, I like the state's ideas better.
Hi SA - after reading your post and replying to you I had a couple of the weirdest dreams. Each time I dreamed that my xh and I were back together again. Although it was two dreams because I woke up after the first and had a glass of water, they took place in the same setting and the same circs. Everything had happened - the divorce and our surgery, so it was 'real' and we were getting along fine . . . .
Well I woke this morning realising that I absolutely do not want to live with hm again. It is so liberating. All the final doubts and lingering regrets gone. Yes, I still love the man he was and I loved being married to him, but I don't want who he is [even post MLC]
Perhaps you are re-visiting the emotional possibility, as I think I was a while back, and trying to decide whether you are really 'over' him. I don't think it means we stop loving, and can be pleasant to them. It means we are now focused fully on the future, and not the past.
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
SA, In their warped little minds, they feel that they have had to put up w/alot of things over the years both from us and everyone else. They stuffed it all down and never once piped up to say how they felt about things. They feel that they have given it all to everyone else and they never got to experience or do whatever it is they think that they missed out on. They forgot...they had a voice in how they lived their lives...
They become upset and angry because things didn't turn out the way that they thought they would be. They thought we would roll over and allow them to take everything from us. They thought that thought that they could just walk away and not have responsibilities barking at their heels all of the time. The grass always looks greener over on the other side of the fence until you cross over. The illusion is always in the distance and it looks great, but once you get there...it's another story.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
