After 2 years separation, he still wants out!!!

[25yearsmlc]

None of that stuff his father did to HIM or HIS MOTHER matters now.

None.

He's your dd's grandfather.

My dad was a raging alcoholic for most of my childhood.

I had kids and he shaped up. He was a gentler kinder GF than he was a father.

Sure there were moments when I rolled my eyes at something he'd allow MY KIDS to do, that he'd NEVER had let us do....

But I was grateful for what my kids got, by putting THEIR NEEDS first, and indirectly I re-built a R with my dad that was ultimately very loving.

I really miss my dad. At least our son remembers him. Don't deny your dd that.

My son does not recall the drunken fights bc he never saw them. So what? Why do I have to pass on the pain of my childhood to MY kids? Why must your h insist on still punishing your father AND denying him the right to redeem himself?

In contrast, my mil was an active alcoholic (but usually pleasant). However we never let her babysit our kids after the ONE time she did, and passed out and could not wake up to answer the door, and did not wake up, even as we broke into the house and retrieved our son...6 months old.

She never called to ask where our son was the next day either...she was passed out drunk 5 ft away from him with a cigarette in the ashtray that had evidently gone out on its' own...but might not have... We still interacted and brought them over, etc. Just didn't leave them alone with her.

It's not about your h.

Let me repeat, it's NOT about your h.

Does it look as if you are forgiving the fil? Gee, maybe...so what?

Besides, what it really looks like is someone making the best of today and "from this day forward"...and letting go of past hurts.

Kind of like what your h wants you to do for him...??