After 2 years separation, he still wants out!!!

[MommaDucki]

As far as H's father goes, early on in H's life, FIL took a business job that caused him to travel much shortly after my H was born....he was relocated to various cities over the next 8 years, but had regular cities he was required to attend conferences in....turns out FIL had OW in each of those regular cities....two of which he was paying almost all bills for (rent, utilites etc.) MIL eventually wizened up about all of this and they divorced when H was 9. MIL got custody of H, but she went into a severe bout of depression due to FILs infidelities....became a hardcore alcoholic, remarried an alcoholic as well. Wanted H to be a free thinking child and gave him very little guidance or direction in life. When H was 14, he had a two week scheduled visit with his father and when FIL picked him up, H was wearing clothes too small for him, adn't had a haircut in lord knows how long, wasn't bathed, just basically an unkempt child. FIL took MIL back to court and H was taken in by his father who wanted to try to instill some better values, morals, personal care, etc into H. H didn't adjust to the move or the fact that FIL was still travelling with work a lot. H dropped out of HS his second year and got his GED. H enlisted into the military as soon as he was able to, but was discharged due to a severe injury during boot camp. He went back to FIL's home where his new stepmom now lived as well...in addition to his stepsister. Fighting, stealing, loads of lies, and eventually FIL kicked H out and H's been on not so great terms with him ever since H and I got married. Once FIL met me for the first time, FIL was sure I was just what H needed to set his life straight. H was bothered that him choosing me made his father like him more. When H and I had fallen on hard times shortly after DD was born in 2008, we moved in with FIL and SMIL. H was sleeping all day, not doing anything to find work, staying up all night on the computer. H and FIL got into it again and H decided he was going to try to re-enlist in the military. H made arrangements for me as to where DD and I would have to go and then told me about his plan. That was a first breaking point for me....between H's EAs, lack of job, and now making living arrangement on my behalf without even a head's up, I lost it. I talked to my parents about moving back into their home, though it killed me to know that was 1300 miles away from H. In the end, it was one of the best choices I made.

I take things one day at a time since then, and like I've said...there are no lasting hard feelings between FIL and SMIL and I. FIL basically swore H off at this point because FIL feels he went the wrong path in his own life and wanted to see H do whatever it takes to keep your family together. H and my marital probs don't have any impact on his(FIL) relationship with our DD.....I fully agree with that.

So, there's a brief summary of H's childhood...all of which I knew before we got married. I knew what I was getting myself into when I said I do, but I got to that point where I couldn't function or raise my child...I can do more and both now, so it makes dealing with the rest of this that much easier.