Slowly we unfurl, as lotus flowers

[Denver_2010]

Here is a question. Let’s say I go fully dark, for a week, 2 weeks, a month, whatever. What would I then be looking for to see if it is working? Would friendly contact from W be seen as progress, a positive? If so, aren’t I already there?

IMO, the next positive steps that you should look for are signs that your W is interested in what you have been doing with your time, i.e., curiosity, and/or signs that she wants to see you... and I mean even if it is just short personal contacts.

Are the friendly interactions from W not positives? If so, then I guess I should be doing something different.

Of course they are positive signs CS. The only concern that I see with it is that you fall too much into the 'friend zone'. But IMO, I think that you should be trying to reestablish the friendship with you W right now. That is the first step.

Let her miss you.

It is not my responsibility to make her feel the consequences of her actions; life will do it for her.

Be friendly.

Go dark.

Act as if.

With all of this rambling, I will say this. I am moving in the direction of backing away.

I will get back to being more mysterious.

In the meantime, taking the afternoon off and playing golf

A healthy dose of all of it CS. It is a tough balancing act for sure. But you do need a little of everything that you just listed. My failure was NOT doing that. It is tough man. But that is my advice.

BITS
Denver